Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

November 4, 2016

Stupid Halloween

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 2:09 pm

This was my Halloween.

10 a.m. Go to Walgreen’s and buy $30 worth of candy.

1 p.m. Go back to Walgreen’s and buy $40 worth of good candy to mix in with the shit candy I bought the first time.

3:15 p.m. Text Jim and tell him to pick up some Halloween decorations for the porch and yard.

6:40 p.m. Yay! First trick or treaters. A little Batman and a princess. Too cute to poot.

6:43 p.m. Two boys taller than I am, wearing camouflage and wielding toy guns. But they had plastic pumpkins for their treats.

6:50 p.m. A kid of about 16. No costume. No treat bag. I. Just. Couldn’t.  I called Jim, and he gave him a double handful of the good candy.  I sprawled on the couch with a wet cloth on my forehead.

6:56 p.m. A guy about 18 or 19. In a pink prom dress—noththatthere’sanythingwrongwiththat—3-days growth, a Kate Spade purse to hold his candy, and a marijuana leaf tattoo on his right shoulder blade. Without prompting, he told me this would be his last year. I didn’t ask him “Last year for what?” Didn’t want to know.

6:57 p.m. Closed the door, turned off the porch light, and took a Xanax.

Next day:

7 a.m. Woke up with a Three Musketeers wrapper stuck to the side of my face and and Skittles in the bed.

8:15 a.m. Went to Walgreen’s and bought 80 treat bags.

8:40 a.m. Arrived at work. Spent 48 minutes filling treat bags for my colleagues and students.

9:30 a.m. Finished distributing candy to colleagues, stowed the ones for students, drew the drapes on my door, and ate the rest of the candy.

I hate Halloween.



1 Comment »

  1. Damn. I can’t tell you how much I’d give to be one of your students receiving a treat bag today. So many disappointments in life. Sometimes the only sane thing to do is draw the curtains and eat the candy. Hugs, my friend. There will be other opportunities for the rest of the world to meet our expectations.


    Comment by Michelle — November 4, 2016 @ 9:26 pm | Reply

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