Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

July 12, 2016

Things I learned in L.A.

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 2:04 pm
  1. There is more than one Spiderman.
  2. Most of them have muffin-tops.
  3. Xanax under the tongue—better in theory than fact.
  4. Batman doesn’t care whether you wanted that picture taken with him or not. He still wants his five dollars.
  5. Mary doesn’t give a shit what Batman wants. Yea, Mary!
  6. The Australian tour guide on the double-decker bus? A recording. No wonder he was always about a half a block off in his narration. Now I will always confuse Grauman’s Chinese Theatre with the Scientology Headquarters.
  7. Old downtown Los Angeles is the prom dress capital of the world. Store after store after store, filled with lace and tulle and chiffon.
  8. My personality is so awesomely magnetic it completely clears all information from hotel room keys. Or I just don’t know how to operate keys that look like credit cards.
  9. If you walk around in a circle long enough, you will find your room. Even if you can’t get in because of that magnetic personality thing.
  10. Sloan in his cups in L.A. is much like Sloan in his cups in Boston and Minneapolis and Tulsa.
  11. Urinating in public is much more common than one might think. And I’m not referring to Sloan. I’ve never seen him do that, in any state.
  12. Drinks at the Westin cost more with a coupon than not. I guess the bartender thought someone who couldn’t find her room wouldn’t notice.
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5 Comments »

  1. Are these pics from AWP this spring or a more recent trip? (I assume the former, since you’re with colleagues.). Los Angeles is a surreal place–no doubt about it. Growing up just east of L. A. I went there often as a child and have been back several times as an alleged adult. I still can’t decide whether I love the place or hate it. Everything about the city is eerily unnatural!

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    Comment by Don Stinson — July 13, 2016 @ 7:35 am | Reply

  2. You went to LA without me? No wonder I was sick! I thought it was sinus failure. Oh, yeah? Well, I went to Colorado without you and got engaged on the 4th of July – so all the fireworks were for us. Yes, I am drawn like a moth to flame to the altar–even after stumbling around in the fog for over a year, tending to Hap, while he was under siege. This is the 5th or 6th–maybe 7th– I get them all jumbled up – So, really I am a virgin again, huh?

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    Comment by pony-tale girl. — July 13, 2016 @ 7:38 am | Reply

    • Sure. Revirgination is a thing. I think I’ve achieved it through inertia.
      I love you, Lottie girl. Don’t move to Colorado without me. We could wreak havoc in a state with legalized pot, even without smoking it. We’d be quicker on the uptake and drive at normal speeds, and probably be the skinniest people there.

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      Comment by Vadasmaker — July 13, 2016 @ 8:00 am | Reply

  3. I would be Queen of Colorado – and coloring books would be my business manual. Imagine -not indulging – and taking those fools for the “dopes” they are! Or indulging and laughing at toes. They are kinda funny.

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    Comment by pony-tale girl. — July 13, 2016 @ 2:46 pm | Reply


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