Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

October 4, 2013

I do so care!

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 4:47 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I’ve had a hard month. I know. I complain all the time, but this time I really mean it. It is a full-time job being me, and if you don’t believe it, just try it sometime. Especially lately, when it’s just one thing after another.

First, I had to care. Of course I always care. I care about all kinds of stuff, but mostly things I can’t do anything about, like is the government ever going to open up for business again, and why are those assholes in charge still getting paid, and is Breaking Bad really over or are they just saying that so they can surprise us with another season next year, like one of those football players who’s always retiring then coming back? You could play whack-a-mole with some of them, they do it so often. So, see? I care.

But usually when I care it doesn’t involve sweating, or breaking a nail, or anything tragic like that. I guess it’s different when you officially care. Like, for instance, there was this whole Day of Caring thing where a bunch of employees from a bunch of big corporations and big schools that aren’t corporations but seem like they are get together and go do things for which SOME of us are completely unsuited.

Participants can pick from lots of things, like mowing and weeding and repairing and building and washing and shoring up and tearing down. I’m not good at any of that. I don’t see why they can’t have some things I’m good at, like sitting and staring, or sharing my thoughts with random people, or writing awful poetry. I don’t guess anybody ever thinks about what I need, do they? It’s just you, you, you, never me, me, me, as God intended. But I forgive you.

So I signed up to go to this place where people were going to build and paint benches for plants. I didn’t think it would be all that hard. I’ve built doll houses. Not well, it’s true, but I don’t think that’s my fault. I mean, have you seen those instructions? And I’ve painted walls. I’m pretty good at that. Well, not good at the actual painting, but I’m definitely excellent at cleaning mass quantities of paint from deep pile carpet after somebody inadvertently steps in the paint pan and tips it over. And by somebody I mean not me.

I got to the place late because I got lost, which was not my fault. Well, it wasn’t. It usually is, but not this time. Someone gave me the wrong address. Really. By the time I got there, all the good jobs were taken. Like hammering, and operating power tools. I even brought my own hammer, but I didn’t get to hit one nail.

I had special gloves too. They were driving gloves, you know, without fingers? I can’t wear regular work gloves because of my nails. Fingernails. Not the nails I wanted to hit with my hammer. I wore my work boots too. Well, they were hiking boots. And I couldn’t find my color-coordinated wool, moisture wicking socks that go with them. Still.

And like I said, power tools. I have a Dremel, which is technically a power tool. Well, power tool lite, I guess. Whatever. I get very excited when there are power tools, and there were a lot of power tools. Ask me if I got to use any of them? I did not. Nobody let me drill a single thing. One of the drills was pink. I look awesome in pink. But like I said, nobody let me drill.

I carried some wood, but they were verrrry long 2 x 4s, and apparently people think I should be the one watching where the far end of a 2 x 4 is going. I say whoever is in danger of having their bell rung by the far end of it should be doing the watching. Since I was in the minority–and by minority I mean alone–in thinking that, they made me put the wood down.

Finally, I just went over to a bunch of guys from some other company. They were hitting pieces of rotten wood with hammers, but my hammer wasn’t big enough. One of them loaned me his big hammer, a sledgehammer, which, contrary to what you may think, I have seen before. So I hit the wood. Well, I meant to hit the wood, but my swing went somewhat awry.

The guy took it back, which I thought was kind of rude. It’s not like I hit anything important with it. Just asphalt. Didn’t even make a dent in it, although my arms did vibrate for an hour and a half.

By then I was exhausted. So I sat on a cooler in the shade until the pizza came.

I definitely excelled at eating pizza. We should have started with that.

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5 Comments »

  1. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Like

    Comment by Michelle — October 4, 2013 @ 5:22 pm | Reply

  2. You should have come with me to the Habitat job. I was semi-in charge and used all kinds of power tools. I would have let you, too!

    Like

    Comment by Pam K. — October 4, 2013 @ 7:06 pm | Reply

  3. hahahahahahahahaha

    Like

    Comment by Nita — October 4, 2013 @ 9:35 pm | Reply

  4. Gaaaaah, I love you!!!

    Like

    Comment by Gloria Teague — October 4, 2013 @ 10:15 pm | Reply

  5. I will go with you next year to make sure they provide a pinks sledge hammer (that was certainly the problem) and we will mount a rear view camera on the 2×4.

    Like

    Comment by Becky — October 5, 2013 @ 9:22 am | Reply


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