Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

June 10, 2013

Pillow talk, or what the heck is wrong with him?

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 6:53 am

He: (Thrashing around in bed.) “Cut it out. Stop it.”

She: (Patting his arm). “Hey. Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”

He: (Awake now.) “I dreamed you were trying to kill me. You were trying to stick something in my eye and kill me.”

She: (Drowsy). “Kill you?”

He: “Yeah. Poking something in my eye trying to kill me.”

She: “Huh.” Long pause. “Well, go back to sleep and don’t worry about it. That’s not how I’d do it.”

He: “What?”

She: (Impatiently). “I said that’s not how I’d do it. Will you go back to sleep?”

He: “How would you do it?”

She: “Oh, for . . . I’d inject you with succinylcholine. Between the toes. Instant paralysis. Undetectable if you’re not looking for it. Now go to sleep.”

Very long pause.

She: “Where’re you going?”

He: “Downstairs. Don’t follow me.”    

Huh. 34 years, 9 months. I still don’t understand him.





    Comment by Michelle — June 10, 2013 @ 7:40 am | Reply

  2. LOVE this!!! ha ha You be a wild and crazy girl!


    Comment by gloriateague52 — June 10, 2013 @ 9:40 am | Reply

  3. Love it! Thanks for my morning laugh.


    Comment by Nita — June 10, 2013 @ 10:42 am | Reply

  4. MY POST DIDN’T. I bet it is those NSA bastards.


    Comment by ponytail girl — June 10, 2013 @ 12:58 pm | Reply

  5. This would be a good time to remind him of that woman in Tulsa who killed her husband because, she claimed, “He wouldn’t leave me alone.”


    Comment by Susan — June 17, 2013 @ 12:16 pm | Reply

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