Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

November 18, 2012

My pig. My mud.

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 2:11 pm
Tags: , ,

I know you probably think this is going to be about the Petraeus kerfuffle, but it’s not. Not my mud, not my pig.

What this is about is this election thing. Did you hear about it? I think a couple of guys were running? And they each had their Robin, you know, like Batman? You’d probably know all of them if you saw them. I think they were on TV a couple of times. On one side you had your Tall Ken and your Buff Ken—I’m not sure they were anatomically correct—hard to tell. One day they said they were, the next day they said they weren’t. The other two seemed to be less generic—one of them was black, if you can imagine that. The other one was like your favorite uncle after a couple of gin and tonics—a little buffoonish and totally well-intentioned.

Well, after these guys and their minions slowed down on all the mud-slinging and half-truths and just plain making shit up, some us voted. You might have voted. If you could find your polling place, which wasn’t easy. Seems like there were some issues with the voting thing. Not just here. Everywhere. Not accidental. On purpose.

The upshot of the whole deal was that Tall Ken and Buff Ken lost. And silly me, I thought that now politicians could get to work doing what they get paid to do—serving their constituents. Yeah, I know. What a concept. Instead, what’s happening is that said constituents are all a-dither. You know why? No, no. Don’t guess. I’m fixing to tell you.

First is the secession thing. A butt-load of red states—which could as a group be called—um, let me see. sore losers?—have decided that if they can’t win they’ll just take their toys and go home. If I didn’t happen to live in a red state I’d encourage these neo-secessionists to be careful and not let the door hit them in the ass on their way out.

But I do live in a red state—a state I wasn’t born to, but chose as mine, and one to which I am deeply, deeply attached—so all I can do is ask, “Are you guys on crack, or what?”

Seriously, the energy expended on the pissing and moaning and bitching and groaning and threatening to abandon the ship of state (hey! That was an awesome turn of phrase, was it not?) astounding. I’ve had three petitions forwarded to me just today.

And to whoever sent them, you don’t know me. Get your sorry ass out of my inbox.

Besides petitions, these sore losers are venting their frustration every which-where–TV and radio and newspapers and Facebook—and never has the power to turn it off, tear it up, and de-crazy that Facebook wall been more satisfying.

They’ve already got their flags, just in case they get to unhook themselves from people who aren’t insane. So don’t tread on them. Seriously. Those people are bad ankle-biters.

Crap. Somebody who knows something just told me that that flag doesn’t fly. Well, not that, exactly. Just that the “Don’t tread on me” thing does not apply. Which is a crying shame, because what I just wrote is funny as shit. So I’m keeping it.

And really, the secessionist crap is just that—crap. Never going to happen. Sure is funny to watch ‘em spin their wheels, though.

Then there’s the health care thing. And this is definitely my mud, my pig. So here’s my two cents:
Oh. My. God. I can’t believe we’re still having this conversation. There are these nine people, you know? In Washington D.C.? They dress funny, all robes and shit? That group is called the Supreme Court. You may have heard of them. Know what their job is? To interpret and uphold the Constitution. They can do that for as long as they live, if they want, but I’m thinking that a life-time appointment is a lot less appealing when their every decision is picked apart and demonized and denounced and I don’t know what all.

But the deal is, that’s their job. The people we elected, from the red states and the blue states and all the hues in between, appointed these judges. And in their considered opinion—which may be distinguished from the knee-jerk reaction by the presence of the little known concept of critical thinking—the Affordable Health Care Act is not unconstitutional. Look it up.

And here’s a thought that probably ought to stay in my head and not fall out my mouth, but hey, I have no control of that: if you disapprove, dislike, dismiss, or just plain “dis” the idea of affordable healthcare, you probably have insurance. Or Medicare. Or Medicaid. And guess what? Those last two? GOVERNMENT MONEY, people. Look. It. Up.

And speaking of allowing the federal government to help provide everyone the option of health care, our governor, Little Mary Pray-for-Rain, seems to be having a problem making up her mind. And by problem, I mean stalling for political gain.

I’m going to ignore the fact that Governor Fallin herself happens to have health insurance herself, no doubt provided by some government, somewhere. Oh. Wait. I think pointing it out might be the opposite of ignoring it. Oops.

Anyway, what the good governor refuses to acknowledge—or just doesn’t know because she subscribes to the Sarah Palin school of “Do what, now?”—is that the states with the people who are most adamant about refusing government money are the states that receive the most government money. You don’t even have to look it up. I did it for you.

What our governor ought to do—and this is crass, crude, uncouth, and totally like me—but what she ought to do is pull her head out of her ass, stick her politics up there, and do what she’s paid to do.



  1. Don’t even get me started on redistricting and changing voting sites (read gerrymandering) and why I not only lost the state senator from my city (read his office is less than 2 miles south of my home) and am now represented by the senator from Washington County who lives in Bartlesville (read an hour from my home). And more irritating, the neighborhood school and church that I have supported for more than 30 years in taxes and contributions, and which are less than a mile from my home, and where I ALWAYS voted at one or the other since we acquired our land in 1979–I can no longer vote at either, because my new state senator reallocation means I also vote at the voting place in the next town NORTH almost 6 miles. So I now have to pass both of my neighborhood voting places (less than a mile from my house–really!) to drive an almost 12 mile round-trip to vote in a town I NEVER go to otherwise. Can you say disenfranchised voters? Not like I have nothing better to do, but I’m now compiling data on this issue and will be writing letters to a bunch of OKC senators who think they can shift Republican voters from northern Owasso and Catoosa, and take independents (like me) and Democrats out of the Rogers County senatorial district and we’ll all just take it and roll over, all so they could take out one of the last Democratic districts. Maybe it’s all “spittin’ in the wind”, but I firmly believe all politics is local, and when they take my local representation away from me and make it harder for my senior citizen neighbors to vote, I get vocal!


    Comment by Left-Brained Business for Write-Brained People — November 18, 2012 @ 2:48 pm | Reply

  2. :). As always, you make me smile!


    Comment by kimberlymburnett — November 18, 2012 @ 3:02 pm | Reply

  3. I think you should say what you really mean when you talk about what our governor should do next. I mean really, Carol, it’s best not to be so vague. But that ship of state phrase? Very nicely turned. I share your deep, deep attachment to OK, although I do keep asking myself why.


    Comment by Michelle — November 18, 2012 @ 5:21 pm | Reply

  4. as they say in new england-this is wicked good.but i have a job for your next posting-ask women if given a choice would they date the ken dolls or obama? at dinner if romney paid he would put the women in the 47% and ryan would yell you cannot have dessert i will provide a voucher to let you negotiate a free market dessert. with a smile, paul


    Comment by paul ashby — November 18, 2012 @ 5:22 pm | Reply

  5. Come, on, Carol, don’t mince words. Say what you mean, hun!
    Don’t even mince pie – eww. Have the holiday you can stand, love Lottie.


    Comment by ponytail girl — November 19, 2012 @ 10:11 am | Reply

  6. By the way, I couldn’t agree more! I am a “Blue Light Special” doing what I can to purplize Okra-homa.


    Comment by ponytail girl — November 19, 2012 @ 10:12 am | Reply

  7. I am so happy I found the seat next to you on our flight to Tulsa! I will probably spend the next flight catching up on the latest posts from your blog. It is rare that I find someone like myself that a) likes a midflight cocktail (lol) and b) talks as much as I do. Seriously, it was a pleasure and I hope that we can stay in touch… Also hoping right about now that you read these comments! Ha! -Malori


    Comment by Malori (the airplane lush) Akin — November 19, 2012 @ 3:30 pm | Reply

    • Too bad the flight was so short. Given more time we could have solved the world’s problems. Or at least determined just what it was that made country music sell out. Or just gotten drunk.


      Comment by vadasmaker — November 19, 2012 @ 8:17 pm | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

Female Serial Killers

A psychologist explores the minds of women who murder

%d bloggers like this: