Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

August 25, 2012

What is UP with Texas?

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 10:10 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

What’s up with Texas? I mean, seriously. I do make fun of the state—well, not the state so much as specific people who do specifically stupid things. But mostly that’s all they’re guilty of. Doing stupid things, saying stupid things, like we all do.

I mean, remember the 700 foot Jesus? Oklahoma. The Personhood Bill? Oklahoma. The high school valedictorian who said “hell” in her commencement speech and is now being denied her diploma? Oklahoma. Forget the wind sweeping down the plain. We need to be watching out for that F5 whirlwind of stupid. So, I concede that we’re about neck and neck with the Lone Star state.


Or we were. Until Judge Tom Head opened his mouth, and out came a torrent of stupid. Or it might go beyond stupid to delusional. I don’t know.

An editorial in the Tulsa World gave us a heads up (I know, right? A clever play on words there) about Head’s screed regarding the results that will follow the wrong guy being elected in November, and by wrong I mean not Mitt. Guess what will happen? I’d really like it if you guessed this one, but you never would, not in a million years, not as long as you have a brain. So I’m going to tell you.

Civil war. I am not making this up. And Judge Dread over there in Crazy Town doesn’t mind telling us why this civil war will occur. Here’s how it’s going to go: First we wrongly re-elect Obama. He then hands over the reins of the US to the UN. Got it so far? OK.

So then, the people get all pissy and rise up. And by all the people I mean the people for whom the election just wasn’t . . . well, just wasn’t all that satisfying.  They’ll riot in the streets, and, according to His Honor, “I’m not just talking riots here and there. I’m talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms, get rid of the dictator.”

In other words, get the musket, Ma, and to hell with the whites of their eyes. Just shoot anybody not wrapped in a flag or wearing a flag pin. Or anybody with a uterus. Or anybody who’s not beige.


And then? And then? It’s as clear as the nose on your face. Obama will “call in the UN troops, personnel carriers, tanks, and whatever.”

Obama-geddon. Who knew?

And I have to agree with the Tulsa World when it asks, “Why Lubbock?” Indeed. Why Lubbock? A lot of people would rather admit to watching Jerry Springer than to admit they hail from Lubbock. Not that there’s anything wrong with being from Lubbock. Or denying being from Lubbock. Jerry Springer, though. That guy is wrong on so many levels.

Why not, say, Austin? If the pot-smoking, bead-wearing, amazing-music-making band of rabble rousers like Robert Earl Keen, Jerry Jeff Walker, Todd Snider, and the rest haven’t made Austin weird enough, UN tanks rolling down 6th Street ought to just about do it.

But seriously, people. What is up with Texas?



  1. You always ask me questions I can’t answer. You ask me guess what, and who knew, and what’s up with certain people and laws and states. I just have no answers for these impossible queries of yours, Carol.


    Comment by Michelle — August 25, 2012 @ 10:28 pm | Reply

  2. Just like I told my boys who were in junior high,” You want to know the answer to awful questions? Follow the money!” Someone is always in there making money fromthe pain, confusion and loss of others. You want to know the how to counteract that greed and thirst for power? Love is the answer.
    I know, it’s corny, but true, anyway. Criticism, sunshine, and accountability help, too.


    Comment by ponytail girl — August 27, 2012 @ 9:16 am | Reply

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