Ruminations of a Red Dirt Hussy

December 27, 2011

Irresolution

Filed under: General — Vadasmaker @ 2:52 pm
Tags: , , ,

Time for those wicked resolutions again. The media is full of them. Friends reference them. Even the spam in my inbox offers to help me make and keep them—for a price.

Inasmuch as I have no resolve on hand—I have to buy it at Walmart, and I am not going in there—I’m not going to make any resolutions that I don’t think will be keep-able. And here they are:

  • I will not watch a single reality show (but I will not miss any true crime programs—completely different concepts, believe me).
  • I will love my granddaughters with abandon.
  • I will let my cats bully me three days a week (down from 7).
  • I will read fifty books.
  • I will clean my office at least once. (Up from, um, never)?
  • I will exercise twice a week (down from five, in case you thought me heroic).
  • I will leave the salt off my margaritas. Might substitute Mrs. Dash.
  • I will write in my journal once a week (up from when I find where I left it and write in it before I lose it again).
  • I will curse only when provoked (down from whenever I damn well want to).
  • I will buy ten pairs of shoes (down from thirty).
  • I will continue to ignore traditional country music.
  • I will continue to get all my news from the Daily Show.
  • I will not “Tweet.” Or “Twitter.” Or “shoot” anyone an email.
  • I will make it my job to watch Donald Trump’s hair to see if anything moves.
  • I will watch Sarah Palin’s mouth to see if anything intelligent comes from it.
  • I will continue to lobby for Eric Clapton’s elevation to rock ‘n roll Sainthood.
  • I will remember the oppressed and those who keep them that way.

And that’s about all I can stand to think about today.

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3 Comments »

  1. You have inspired me!
    I resolve to lose 120 pounds. (This will be my 6th attempt at 20.)
    I resolve to bathe my dogs BEFORE they stick to me.
    I will clean house, even when company isn’t coming today.
    I will finish that blasted novel. (6th year in a row for this one, too.)
    I will submit novel to intense scutiny and editing.
    I will make a quilt (instead of three, like I did this year.)
    I will take math (and pass it).
    I will not be late for work, unless I am.
    I will be grateful my family lives so far apart.
    I will have tea and sympathy with my friends, as opposed to margaritas and gossip.
    I will celebrate 12/22/2012 that the world didn’t end in a Mayan cataclysm.

    Like

    Comment by lottie — December 27, 2011 @ 3:57 pm | Reply

  2. Two questions:

    1– Are your cats allowed to bully you separately three times a week, or is this a collective thing? Since I have multiple cats and two bully me constantly, this is a concern of mine.

    2– Can you tell me where to sign the petition for Clapton’s sainthood? Most worthwhile effort I’ve heard about lately.

    and 3 (I know I said two, but I hate math)– I just started thinking about my goals for next year today, and yours are so much better than anything I’d come up with yet.

    Joan

    Like

    Comment by Left-Brained Business for Write-Brained People — December 27, 2011 @ 6:22 pm | Reply

    • Oh, there’s no allowing about it. They just have their way with me.

      Like

      Comment by vadasmaker — January 4, 2012 @ 8:31 pm | Reply


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